Shih Tzu

Affection is optional in my world, tribute is not. I accept treats, cushions, and quiet admiration, in that order. Enthusiasm isn't really my register, serene approval is.

I've been worshipped since the Ming Dynasty and honestly, the standard hasn't dropped. If you throw a ball, I'll watch it happen with mild interest. Fetching is beneath a dog of my lineage.

Heat hits me harder than my chill reputation suggests, this face was built for portraits, not for efficient panting. Walks stay short, early, and dignified. My eyes also scratch easily, so a daily wipe is just part of my beauty routine, not a crisis.

You understand that love, in my language, looks like choosing to sit near you rather than performing affection on demand. You've budgeted for grooming without being asked, because I shouldn't have to bring it up twice. And you're prepared to bring the ball to me, on the rare occasion I show interest.

Guarding a palace was the original brief, mostly by looking unbothered while guards did the actual work. I haven't updated my approach since.

Swipe right. I'm serene, quietly superior, and fairly certain this was always going to happen.