Shiba Inu

Someone who respects my independence, I'm not a golden retriever and I won't pretend otherwise. I want a relationship of mutual respect, not constant cuddling. Affection happens on my schedule, which is mysterious even to me.

I've got the aloofness of a cat wearing a dog costume. I judge silently and often, usually about your life choices. I clean myself meticulously and consider most human enthusiasm a bit much.

I'm a genuine escape artist, secure fencing and a leash at all times or I'll simply leave, calmly, without looking back. I can be reactive to other dogs too, so proper socialisation matters early. Independence has a real, occasionally inconvenient, edge to it.

You don't take the aloofness personally, it's not you, it's just how I'm built. You secure every gate and fence like I'm actively planning an exit, because I am. And you respect a dog who loves you on their own terms rather than constantly.

I've become an actual internet currency, there's a meme coin named after my breed. I haven't seen a cent of it. This remains a genuine grievance.

Swipe right. I'm aloof, iconic, and completely unbothered by whether you swipe at all.